Closing Your Circle: How The NFL’s Black Monday Can Spark Your Best Year Ever In 2020

The start of the year always brings with it a few rituals. There’s the annual performance review at work. There’s the celebration at midnight on New Year’s Eve. There’s New Year’s Day, and the setting of resolutions.

Then there’s the breaking of most of those resolutions by Jan. 2.

I’m not big on resolutions because an intentional commitment to being better is a discipline, not a hobby. Plus, over my years of studying the Great Ones—those athletes, coaches, and teams that succeed at the highest levels of sports and business—I’ve noticed they don’t do resolutions.

They do resolve.

There’s a grittiness that comes with being Great, and it’s a personal discipline that keeps high performers in a perpetual state of examination—of self, yes, but also of the people around you. And if I’ve learned anything from that, it’s that I need to review annually the people I’m spending the most time with. It’s a process that I learned first from Coach John Wooden, but it’s something that I quickly observed with others as well.

And if you don’t believe me, look no further than the NFL this past week.

On Monday, a day that many NFL journalists dub “Black Monday,” several teams fired key personnel: the Browns axed head coach Freddie Kitchens and his failed chemistry experiment; the Giants sacked head coach Pat Shurmur; the Redskins, having already fired their head coach, opted to fire Bruce Allen, president of football operations.

Guess the culture wasn’t “damn good” after all.

It’s true that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and that formula holds up not just in your overall life, but in your professional life as well. The people you allow to speak into your professional life have a lot of sway over what that professional life entails. When you’re not intentional about who those people are, you’ll begin to see the effects over time.

That’s why I always end my year with a review of the five people I spent the most time with over the previous 365 days and then if needed, start the process of making adjustments to that group for the next 365. I’m not afraid to adjust the people with whom I spend the most time, especially if they have the ability to make me a better person and performer overall.

So how do I evaluate and adjust? I ask myself these questions:

1. How did I grow this year? I hold myself accountable first because my growth is my responsibility. I’m committed to growth on a daily basis, which means I must get better daily. If I can look back at my year and see limited growth, then before I adjust anything else, I need to adjust my own mindset.

2. Which of my group of five helped me grow? After I look at my own efforts, I look at the influence of the people around me. Who invested in me at key times? Who challenged me to think bigger? Who spoke difficult truths to me when I couldn’t see them myself? Who let me slide when I needed grace, or who told me to slow down when I was misusing my time? The people who help me grow the most are often the people who are proactive with our relationship; they are as invested in my growth as I am and take the opportunity to pour into me without needing me to beg them for advice.

3. Where do I want to grow in the next year? This is a return to examining my own motives. I need to chart my own course for growth, otherwise, I’m not growing, I’m being groomed. There’s a difference—you want to set your own pathway, not take the path that others have for you. I look at the coming year, the commitments I have, the things I want to accomplish, and the dreams I want to live, and I decide not only the goals I need to set, but the changes I need to make to see those goals achieved.

4. Which of my group of five can help me grow? I look at the goals, dreams, and commitments of the coming year and compare my group of five against them. Often, I need to cycle in at least one new person because where I want to go will require a fresh perspective. I’m not ending any relationships, mind you, I’m only adjusting the amount of time I spend with people. While I maintain a great relationship with many, I don’t give everyone equal time.

5. Who do I need to add to my group of five to help me get better? If I have an existing relationship that can be deepened, I schedule time in my calendar with that person. If I don’t have a person in my existing network who can help me reach my goals, then I start looking for people who might step into that role over time.

Once I’ve answered those questions, it’s just a matter of staying true to my commitments. I spend time with the people who will make me better—and I give time to people who ask the same of me. Growth is a two-way street; the more we seek growth, the more we help others grow. Sometimes, the people we help—or who help us—need to change.

Sometimes, we need our own Black Monday to help shake us out of apathy. With that, I can’t wait to see what 2020 holds for YOU!