NCAA Coaches McDermott And Tang Lose A Game Of Basketball But Win The Game Of Life

In the NCAA Men’s National Basketball Tournament, March 2023 has been all about upsets. As the tournament heads into its final weekend, the four teams left standing includes perhaps one team, the Huskies of Connecticut, who anyone has heard much about this season. The other teams — Florida Atlantic, San Diego State, and Miami — weren’t expected to sniff the Final Four, much less crash the party.

How unexpected is this quartet headed to Houston for the championship: more than 280,000 brackets submitted to ESPN had ALL FOUR teams losing in the first round, so let’s give kudos where they’re due. But surprising results aren’t the source for the best Elite Eight lesson from this year. No, the greatest lessons come from two coaches who lost their games last weekend, Creighton’s Greg McDermott and Kansas State’s Jerome Tang. Simply put, the way they handled their losses offer a masterclass in grace.

The Creighton-San Diego State game was an incredibly close contest that came down to the final 1.3 seconds when San Diego’s Darrion Trammell was “fouled” on a shot attempt (the quotes are used because many questioned the quality of the call.) He made one of two free throws, giving his team a 57-56 lead and an ultimate victory that sent the Twitterverse into supernova because the foul was so controversial. Creighton’s McDermott certainly didn’t like the call during the game, but after the game ended, when he faced the cameras, he did something that was as standup as it gets in the world of sports today.

The journalists used every angle and every wile at their disposal to try to get McDermott to vent about the referee’s call that had just dashed his team’s dream. Each and every time he steered clear of the trap, finally saying to ESPN’s Pete Thamel, “Two teams played their tails off, and officiating is part of the game. We’re not going to go there. We lost the game because we didn’t do enough and San Diego State did.”

One hundred percent accountability is a beautiful thing to behold.

In the meantime, Kansas State, who had been picked in the pre-season to finish 11th in the Big 12 Conference, were seeing their overachieving dream come to end against a Florida Atlantic team that didn’t have a single NCAA tournament victory in its program history before the current season. After the game, with the memory of Florida Atlantic’s 15-1 run that propelled them to a 79-76 win over his team, Wildcat coach Tang was asked to comment on the season and to share what he was feeling as he hugged his players coming off the floor.

“More than I could of dreamed of as far as the joy these young fellows brought to my life,” reflected Tang of the season before turning to the hugs. “I was there because I wanted them to know we were not going to hang our heads. It’s more of a life lesson that things may not go your way, but it’s how you respond. I hug them after every game, win or loss. I’m very proud of them.”

Tang went on to show that a coach should feel great affection and pride for his team no matter the outcome, yet remain clear-headed and practical in assessing the reasons for the loss. When asked what other than three points was different about the two teams, he answered without a trace of blame directed at his own players, “They outrebounded us. They were the tougher team today. The game came down to those fifty-fifty balls, and they won them.”

Too often when things go sideways, we revert to human nature and try to displace the blame on to the refs or some other excuse. It’s an instinct. The loss is too painful or makes us fear for our job security and so we cast it as something that was taken from us rather than something we lost. Great leaders step up and say, No, that’s not the way the conversation is going to go. I don’t want to remember this game — and I don’t want this game to be remembered — as the game the refs blew. Where’s the learning in that narrative? Where’s the fuel to do better next time in that narrative?

I’m sad that Creighton and Kansas are not going to get a chance to play in the Final Four, but I’d sure be proud to be a player on either of those squads if it meant being led by a coach like McDermott or Tang.