Born and raised in California, Robert Paylor attended prestigious UC Berkeley, where he enjoyed success on the rugby field under 29-time National Championship coach, Jack Clark. But living the dream can change just like that.
On May 6, 2017, while playing for a National Championship, Paylor was severely injured. Just five yards from scoring, an opposing player yanked his neck and his body went numb below the collarbone.
At just 20 years old, he left the field on a stretcher and was told he’d never walk again. Paylor, however, sought recovery, and developed a phrase with a priest that changed his life: Compared to what?
Paylor gives the examples: I’m tired… but compared to what? I’m having a tough day… but compared to what? Instead of making the problem at hand into a giant, looming issue, the three-word phrase reduces its power. “Those ‘why me’ questions don’t even come up,” Paylor said. “Because you’re thinking about the positives you have in your life. You’re thinking about all the things that millions of people in this world right now would give anything to have.”
It’s this way of thinking that helped Paylor stand up from his wheelchair on his own.
In this episode, you will learn:
- How to move from WHY ME to WHY NOT ME. Paylor said the strongest tool you have when dealing with a challenge is your perspective. When he struggles, he remembers the times he couldn’t eat or even breathe on his own. But if you’ve never experienced something like that, he said to find empathy by uniting your emotions with the struggle of others.
- How to set essential goals. When it comes to setting goals, Paylor said, you have to want them more than anything else. They have to become near-obsessions. “If you don’t want it that bad,” he said. “Don’t waste your time. It’s not a goal.”
- Why forgiveness is the answer. Paylor said he never received an apology from the rugby player who injured him. Yet, Paylor has forgiven him. “I forgive him and I wish him well,” he said. “Forgiveness is always the answer.”
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